Daemon

The Stern Report. My God, nobody can ever say Tony doesn't know spin. The Stern Report. The Stern Report. Stern. Stern. Stern.... Report. Hmmm.

Make up your own minds. But just to remind you...

It's The STERN Report! So make those minds up good and right.



Now for the Malcolm report.


Last week I became an Australian citizen. It was a long time coming. A long time. If you count the days from my initial application (and I do) then you're looking at six years. Five of those in Australia. Still, the day came in the end. Sure I had my application for citizenship approved a few weeks ago but I was only made an Aussie officially last week when I stood up in front of the Mayor of Campbelltown (the local council) and, bible in hand, swore after him....

It was brilliant! I really thought it was going to be such a dull, staid affair. Don't get me wrong, it was, as it should be, a very serious event, but it was delightful too. All the candidates, and I was only one of two Europeans and the only english speaker the other guy was Italian, we were grinning from ear to the lobe of the same ear! Honestly I couldn't tell you why we were so happy, but we were. In fact the day was so moving for some that the wonderfully friendly and young east African couple happily clutched their bibles and took the oath to uphold the blah blah of Australia even though they were clearly muslim. Didn't bother them a bit. Even though they were given the option, like the rest of us, of choosing their own oath at the interview. Brilliant!

Vanessa is good. Well it's the second trimester. So all the books, documentaries, magazines, websites, friends, cohorts and oddball strangers you meet in the deli are happy to tell us, this is the best three months of the pregnancy. Well so far they appear to be correct.

Last but not least, I'm going to introduce "Malc Recommends".

Tonight Malc recommends, and this is delving into my past a little bit, but so deserves my and your, and your, and your and everybodies attention.

Philip Pullmans "His Dark Materials".

If you don''t already know the work then you're missing out. If you do know it, then it's about time you revisited the story of Lyra and Will.

That's it. I'm not going to review the books. I'd only do a terrible job.

Have a great one folks. Sorry for the shocking quality of tonights blog.

Love and bubbles

Malcolm

Let's Blog!

So Malcolm is blogging away and all us over here are just sitting still doing nothin' about it....well I'll give it another go...

I discovered after listening to the radio a new site here called http://www.dublinwaste.ie where you can advertise anything you want to get rid of and see if there are any takers. Well as I have this old telly sitting around doing nothing and was too lazy to take it to the recycle place I put an ad up to see if it worked and would you believe before you could say.....Jack Robinson...or whoever....I had three emails from people who were trying to snatch my hand off for it....so in future that's what I am going to do if I need to get rid of "rubbish"...one man's rubbish is another man's treasure....who said that?

OK...that's it for me....and keep up the good work Malcolm...maybe we can convince the rest of these Hamiltons to get blogging. Come on Sean...where are you?

Never give a monkey the key to the banana plantation

Well it looks like this is turning into the Malcolm Forever blog. Come on guys, get yer tush in gear. Especially you lot who NEVER contribute. It's fun, it's easy, it's your duty as a Hamilton! Blog my pretty ones, blog! As the Wicked Witch of the West would have said if it were an online community, instead of flying monkeys she created. Heeehehheeeehheehhe mad cackle, finarr!

Australia in 2006 is gripped in the desicated vice of drought. In fact it's the worst drought on record. Hottest October days ever - 38 degrees yesterday, when it should only be 20 degrees - warmest winter ever. As dry as the proverbial bone. Now any normal person would think the well smart, equally well shod, educated folks in this dusty red country would be on the ball. Yes? No! Not until the whole continent goes up in flames will they move to make a difference. Honestly, they're all bonkers in the nut over here. It's amazing how the Baby Boomers keep their collective head in the sand.... and sure there's loads of it. Or maybe it isn't so surprising. Let's face it, the Baby Boomers have spent their whole lives raping and pillaging the environment, and they sure ain't going to stop now. The sting in the tale?

Never give a monkey the key to the banana plantation.

To another topic... John Howard, the Bushy browed, Baby Booming Pin-Up-War-Mongering-Migrant-Loathing-Mysoganist of a prime minister here has somehow been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. It just goes to prove the the World is indeed a funny old place. The odd's are 1000 to 1. Any bets guys?

Ohh did you see what I did there with the "Bushy browed"? "Bushy" Bush, Bush? Hmmm... no? Dubba? Ohh forget it!

For those good people following my rants and plants.... Well we got the results of the Downs tests this Thursday and wow, ohh wow, Vanessa's numbers came back at 1 in 5167. Amazing! Let me explain. For those of you who already understand please skip to article 3.

1. Over the age of 30 all risks inherent in any pregnancy go balistic. The OBGYN would have been happy with odds of 1 in 300. 1 in 1500 is considered excellent. Odds of 1 in 5167, hey it's astronomical! Yaaaahoo.

2. Other news is the baby is sitting a little higher than expected and thats it.

3. Otherwise all good, all fine.

Have a good one guys. To come full circle with this silly blog.... Post away! We're all over the world us Hamiltons. So leave a little notice on this message post. We're all interested. We all give a hoot. And remember! Keep those keys safe from the monkeys!

Malcolm

Sometimes Life Does Suck

(Okay this was meant to be up last weeek, but hey, I forgot to post it. Well here ya go!)

Sometimes. And maybe this is one of those times. I could whine about so much, but what hits the top of the list is work. This week, and I got to say I wasn't exactly surprised, my co-workers and I we asked into a meeting where we were told that the company was closing down. Pahh! So anyway the boss - a totally crazy woman - put to us 3 options, all of which she had considered for our benefit. 1. She could simply close up the business. 2. She could merge the business with another. 3. We, or any combination of the three of us who work for her could take over and try to continue the business.

Now I'm sure you've noticed a particular option, one that throbs like a sore thumb because of it's absence..... We could all feck off right now and find alternative employment! Hehe... an option left out as she needs us to stay on until Christmas because she needs to wind the company down.

Should you be wondering, my decision is to take over the company. Believe me, with the prospect of a little one arriving in April, it's a frightening future, but it's that or return to the hopeless hamster wheel that is PAYE employment. Well, nope! I've been doing this for 14 years, I'm ready to run my own studio. No guts, no glory. Who said that, by the way?

My fellow workers are all jumping ship. Well they're all waiting for me to do all the hard work of checking - Ita you'll understand this, and correct me if I'm wrong - due dilligence, accounts, numbers, figures, informing clients etc.

I might sound a bit grumpy, and I am! Thing is I actually feel very positive about this. After all it's not everyday somebody makes you an offer to take over a company with plenty of potential for nothing but coverage! Yup, I'm going for it.

Later Hammo's!